While the author says that this entry is a satire, it is poorly done and makes it seem like he's angry and was seriously burned by some girl (and who hasn't?) recently. By not making it more obvious, with each more nonsensical argument, it's harder to believe that this was a lampoon. Basically it seemed like a whole lot of elitist talk on how if you're not up to his standards as a hardcore gamer, then you're shallow and a poser.
"People who play video games understand the fundaments of fun."
Hehe.. "fundaments" ..I like this.. this must be one of those weak arguments. A game is a game, even if it is a Facebook game. Sure, I don't like hearing the click-click-click, knowing that she is wearing down my mouse, but its ok.. she bought me that mouse to game!
"If the ratio of party games to every other genre is even close to 50% (or worse, beyond) you can bet that the console only gets dragged out for special occasions as a novelty when friends are over."
It can be said that there are two arguments here; 1) that you're not a gamer if you like musical type of games or party (Mario Party/Raving Rabbids) games, 2) that if they have those type of games, that it only is played when people come over. First thing is, video game nights with friends is really fun. While it may not make you a hardcore gamer if you partake, it still makes you cooler than the girl that sits on the sidelines and rolls her eyes. If anyone looked at my Wii game collection initially, I would be in the category of 'poser' to this author because it was alot of party-centric games.. but that is what the Wii was kinda created to do.. bring people together to play together.
"If your guy or gal doesn’t know what you mean when you ask them for their K/D ratio or whether they’re interested in a quick deathmatch, there’s a good chance they usually have no idea what you’re talking about"
Elitism. Alot of people play games, and don't bother to learn the vocabulary of the type of game they're playing. They're not interested, not because they're pretending to like the game. They're not interested b/c they're too busy having fun with the game.
"Folks who’ve never heard of a ColecoVision or a Commodore 64 know nothing about the roots of their so-called favorite past-time."
You're making this so easy! As time goes by, the newer generation would never have touched or heard of those old game systems. I've heard of ColecoVision, but I've never played on it, much less heard of a Commodore 64. I must not be a true gamer then.
"Anyone who claims to be a video game fan and can’t handle standard first-person shooter controls on a console is clearly not fit to call themselves a real gamer"
Probably one of my favorite weak-sauce arguments; this person obviously is a fps gamer and thus puts a strong weighting on the validity of those games. I personally love pc fps for the better controls, but play on the 360 so I can play with my friends who prefer to play infront of their tv than pc. Clearly he's wrong, turn-based strategy games are the only REAL games worth playing!
I don't see what the problem is with a girl that pretends to like games when she's spending time with you; isn't it normally the opposite? We're pretending to like something the girl is passionate about, so we can get closer to them? Think of it this way, you know those couples where the partner doesn't like it that you spend all your time playing games and thinks you're wasting your time? A person that will pretend to like something you're passionate is about, will more than likely atleast pretend to understand and let you partake, rather than steer you away.
You know how long a sarcastic guy like me will last in the joint?
Now thats satire.
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